that's it

Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Maybe I can feel like I don't care anymore. They're my "maybes". Maybe they're true.
It's so long since it happened that now I feel like I'm okey the way I feel. I know it was hard, difficult and that I always wish it was different. But it won't be, never. So here I am, undone, waiting for the next to come. Waiting for something that probably will change me and make me another person. That's how I work, I change and I become another person. People may think it's so, so stupid and dumb but they can't change me, I can. I won't think about the future anymore, I will think about now, my own present. I will feel like if I'm on the street, I slip and fall in a puddle while a blizzard drags me and I get my ass completely soak. Whatever, I don't care.

So now I think I'm prepared to say: I'm ready.